Confessions of an Aspien Woman

Graffiti Me

That’s grafitti me! Just kidding. Anyway, I said earlier that I’m a lot like the header (seen above) for this site – colorful, interesting, complex, and a little quirky! (O.K. A lot quirky.), but I changed the theme that has a new header. (That’s not me, again, although being blue would be cool. Maybe.) But I’m still colorful, interesting, complex, and a lot quirky! Note: O.K. I changed the theme once again after taking my quirky Christmas site down, so the above may not make sense anymore except that I continue to be “colorful, interesting, complex, and a lot quirky!”

Wow. It’s spring already. The grass – or weeds, rather – need cutting and I need to find someone else to do my yard or buy myself another riding lawnmower. I really don’t mind doing it myself, however, time is an issue.

Speaking of time, I have spent most of the winter immersed in creating, building, and/or updating websites, and have been busily planning my signature membership site, Exceptional Aging. Now it’s on to the building the sales page and membership hub aspects. I’ve upgraded my hosting account so I’m ready to go with more projects. I’ve also been adding more PLR to Optimal PLR and am about to launch an affiliate program there.

When I say I’m immersed in something, that’s kind of an understatement. You see, as an adult with Asperger Syndrome, I get totally focused on the tasks at hand almost to the neglect of everything else. I do, however, still have to work outside the home, and that is a blessing because I might not ever leave the house or get any exercise!

I had good intentions of blogging on a consistent basis here and elsewhere, but that hasn’t happened as I have chosen to use my time working and creating, hoping and planning on being able to eventually “retire” and make my own living online through the things that I have created. I’m beginning to see it, feel it, and know that it is, indeed, possible. I have what it takes!

I’ve been reading Tania Marshall’s “Aspienwomen: Adult Women with Asperger Syndrome. Moving towards a female profile of Asperger Syndrome.” There is great comfort in knowing that I am not alone at being weird, aloof, and highly sensitive. It has also been somewhat of a process of coming to terms with it all. It seems that I am the only one that understands the gravity and implications of what this means to me. Friends and family members have no idea what I am talking about and get that glazed over look in their eyes. Maybe I need to find and communicate with others like me. There are probably a lot of women like me around here and everywhere, but they just don’t know why they are the way they are.

As for the lifestyle aspects of an adult woman with Asperger’s, I innately have had a lot of them for most of my adult life: Books, computers, the internet, animals, and nature are my best friends; I love and require quiet, solitude, peaceful surroundings; I spend as much time as possible by myself and with my cats. Since I’ve been building my internet business, I haven’t been spending much time in nature and I miss it!

My job provides my with the routine I need and things are pretty much the same for me day after day – and I’m O.K. with that. I get great pleasure from being engaged in my chosen work and/or special interests And, probably most importantly, I make it a high priority to arrange my life, events, work, and environment to avoid overwhelming, stressful or upsetting situations.

O.K. Here it is. The main confession of what I have holding back on, even trying to hide by just not mentioning anywhere online, up to now, what job I have been doing offline: I have been delivering newspapers for the past 8.5 years. And, I have become the best dang newspaper carrier there is and ever was or ever will be! At least, that’s what I tell myself and there is a lot of truth to that. There just happens to be a lot of us who are the best dang newspaper carriers there are and ever was or ever will be!

Also, I happen to be a highly educated newspaper carrier. And, the reason that I can tolerate this type of work so well, is the fact that I am an Aspie who needs rote and routine. I do need to occupy my mind while I’m driving (and I drive a lot!) by listening to audiobooks and to some talk shows on the radio. So, there! I have just justified to myself and to the world my worthiness as a newspaper deliverererererer. This job not only has helped to support me, it serves to add needed structure to my life.

This is the most I have disclosed about myself online or anywhere in a very long time. Sometimes we spend so much time and energy just trying to fit in, we lose touch with the amazing and unique humans that we really are. Does any of this sound familiar? Let me know.